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MON MARI

by Triya Love

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1.
INTRO 00:38
mon mari, une fille qui aime chanter a minuit. en appelant la lune, c’est l’ocean qu’elle séduit. c’est un fille qui ne veut pas penser a toi. mais se noie dans ses pensées, je le sais parce qu’elle est moi. (my husband, a girl who likes to sing at midnight calling to the moon, it’s the ocean she seduces she is a girl who doesn’t want to think of you but drowns in thought. I know because she is me.)
2.
Top Notch 03:15
they tell ya it’s cool, to make your own rules so i used to see everybody else as a fool to battle and duel and slaughter and school said, baby who’s ready to look like a tool? what’s that? you say that i’m being cruel? honey, did i stutter? ‘scuse me did i drool? no, cause i’m a diamond, just a sparkly jewel, and in the kitchen it’s lit cause i’m bakin’ a boule I don’t give a damn unless it’s top notch this girly gonna flip unless it’s top notch timberlake on a plate alexander the great imma flake, unless it’s top notch ooo baby baby she’s an overachiever warrior and a dreamer ooo baby baby she’s an overachiever she’ll make you into a believer oneday i was walking in my overalls thinking bout tip and biggie smalls someone said hey, you got a grammy at all? i said no, but i’m a beast for 5 foot tall, a long time ago i was a flower on the wall caught in my business, i was dropping the ball i was like a baby learning how ta crawl now i dust myself off every time i fall chorus i don’t give a damn unless it’s top notch i’m gonna flip unless it’s top notch contemplatin’ my fate though it’s well worth the wait imma flake, unless it’s top notch chorus
3.
you’ve got your anxiety nighttime and i feel so low even your love couldn’t change my flow baby get away from me if you must know i’m queen of the dark and i’m ready to blow that’s right you can’t crop my lies when i’m feeling’ all woozy bring me the sacrificial lamb and a two dollar floozy you was the one to abuse me your lies cannot fool me i make like i’m in ankle deep with your sin drop ya mouth cause ya in going just deeper in {because i’m} out like a dark night, yea so i leave and i’m outta sight, oh no but there’s still a little morning light, yea won’t quit till imma fight, oh no, no you’ve got your anxiety your old your borderline personality your schizo affective deep down and subjective don’t kill cause you’ve wrecked it bipolar objective chorus now i’m down on the earth where the ghosts know my worth got no change in my purse got no merry, no mirth completely alone when the demons attacked me i can see my evil eyes in the mirror exactly if truth is subjective, what could a fact be i may be crazy honey, but no one can snatch me eyes on the prize baby, beggin’ for more open up the door so calm down just calm down everybody calm down nighttime and i feel so low even your love couldn’t change my flow baby get away from me if you must know i’m queen of the dark and i’m ready to blow chorus {because i’m} right and when it all comes down to paralyze in a perfect world how we fantasize that a mother’s tears can rectify lives its the dark knight that’s got soul that flies chorus
4.
Tiger Lily 03:49
Love drives us crazy and i know sometimes i wish that i could love more but at the end of the day i don’t care what anybody says it’s here tiger lily mirror mirror, on the wall its a straight trip down so beggin’ i’ll crawl on my hands and knees while my eyelid bleeds i’m a diva wrapped in doormat say i’m sorry aim to please i handle the truth the way they handle my bags through the metal detector in my living room, damn feet drag eyes sag even when i’m fine so baby ain’t it time to do it, don’t hide in the corner there’s no other time to do it, it’s worth all the torture love love drives us crazy heart full a toxins and brains full of lead staring at your image yeah my eyes bring back the dead dead, dead, tiger lily yeah the war i wage aint won rationally it’s the type of war you fight passionately whether it’s got dB or it’s silently i’m fighting on the battleground we call honesty can the lights finally shine down on tree? be free be free home free to be just me feel the ecstasy of liberty, it’s on me oo my tiger lily won’t you grow for me dance in the sun, go have your fun, tiger lily grow for me, grow for me, put on a show for me follow my lead, love is my guide, babe you can’t hide when you’re with me…
5.
baby i’m a mexican bride and i aint got nothing to hide wanna go out to the white church and never let my hair down yeah baby you’re a mexican bride and you ain’t got nothin to hide what they tell you is all a ruse so why don’t you just get on your shoes and i said baby if you wanna go baby if you wanna show baby if you wanna take it down oh oh, nothin like the past marry in the water ya make the kiss last this love’s got nothing to do with the law just love in my heart yeah baby bleeding and raw chorus you oo put me in the white dress baby but now i’m looking for somebody new, yea chorus it was the obituary of a bride
6.
U My Slushie 03:29
yeah u my slushie no it ain’t nothin’ mushy, just a crushie i got my eye on you sugar you better love me, as you run down my ice i got something to say and it ain’t nothin’ nice don’t get all gushie, my slushie’s simply sweet you betta hushie, come on, feel the beat read the words on my lip as i stare, take a sip, little hey, little what tell me if it’s too much yeah u my slushie, baby, keepin’ it chill daily come upstairs? maybe. treat me like a lady and love me till i melt, cause lovin’ is my wealth i swear baby, it will be, the best you’ve ever felt yeah i got that sugar, babe u my slushie i grip it, the love i rip it, the dollar i’m slippin’ as i flip it i am it, the scholar true fact flashbacks, aint no cash backs get fat on snacks find you, relax slushie makin’ me blushie, not fallin’ in love, don’t rush me honey don’t judge, you can trust me touch me, could i be so lucky? obsession’s got control of me press two for tea, my destiny together? forever? a tether for my wrists? I want that love, I want that bliss u my slushie what flavor are you honey? cherry cherry baby apple pie lemon sky keep it up to the top, keep it high raspberry, raspberry loving it strawberry glazey daisy blueberry chocolate them peaches got me crazy, uh taste that ice reach those heights i like you, you’re kinda nice yeah u my slushie no it ain’t nothin’ mushy, just a crushie i got my eye on you sugar you better love me cause sugartime’s the only time that’s right and when i get an audience i like to keep em hushed and baby don’t you know I always take my ice crushed
7.
Shark Love 05:12
i'm in love, i'm in love, i'm in love with a shark, so ultra hammerhead, we make love in the dark give me your ocean boy, give me your fame feel the waves of my body while you shout out my name yo, this place is uncharted territory, i’ll just be swimmin’ til the day i claim the glory this open ocean, this ocean wet i’m ready for a dive i’ll never forget i'm treading water, flipping to grip, sinking in the waves, but too slick to quit. i knew he was a shark and baby that was it knew i was done, knew i was bit i’ll swim this sea forever, i don't give a shit, love is eternal, so let's get lost in it. oh oh, got me up my neck in water baby i’m here, yeah you finally got her you said love me where? baby baby, find me a man if you dare, baby baby, find me a man won’t you find me a man, won’t you find me a won’t you find me a man, i’m hungry do you know how i feel? or are you just looking for a tasty meal i see a boy shark, he’s eaten my heart we swim in the dark, til he’s tearin’ me apart hmm hmm i am hearty, i am wild keep my teeth locked in a smile, it never goes out of style, like a sweet art deco tile diving 20,000 leagues even when my heart fatigues not a tease, baby please don’t keep me waiting’, geez. echolocation your sound, baby it’s nascent i got fears but i face em you’re one but i’m not wastin’ time just thinking about you it was true when i found you, the one i want to be bound to (like a remora) yo, this place is uncharted territory, i’ll just be swimmin’ til the day i claim the glory this open ocean, this ocean wet i’m ready for a dive i’ll never forget do you know how i feel? or are you just looking for a tasty meal chorus you are my philosophy you are my water deep you are my deepest sleep you are my coral reef you know, i’m all about you baby chorus i just, i can’t escape your love i see a boy shark, make love in the dark i see a boy shark, he’s eaten my heart we swim in the dark til he’s tearing’ me apart give me your ocean, give me your fame feel the waves of my body as you shout out my name …shark queen…
8.
Gender Flu 03:09
listen honey, I caught the gender flu. and you know what? it felt great holding hands, we found our niche girls are boys, boys are chic we’re a whole new thing we can do anything, ding dong ding! everything’s brand new since I caught the new flu here comes me and my crew, woo hoo!  at the top of the mountain we can see the view how the city lights up like the smile of a guru  Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Comin from ya lips just allotta blah U run your mouth while I burn a bra we just wanna be free i wear glasses cause I’ve got a queer eye when i’m feeling like it imma wear a tie do my avant ways put you on guard when i fight my battles in a leotard? call me them cause I feel like dancing touch my dress, we could be romancing feel so free imma take my chances i’m so fly that i’m stealin’ glances stricken! caught the gender flu! and baby don’t you know it’s chronic too always keep it real cause it let’s me do whatever I want to catch my flow/ in time, so  you can watch them theybies glow gender fluid, hair day-glo purple lips? it’s a show the year i was born, we were on the rise we multiply right before your eyes marsha johnson didn’t really die she lives on bi and if i’m not mistaken, there’s a new generation  where God is Love and we’re creatin’ life could be lived so beautifully we just wanna be free chorus people only hate cause they’re lacking love i can’t help but wonder if they’re jealous of the freedom, how we live our lives some little boys wanna be house wives yeah two spirits are better than one as least having two is a lot more fun i’d like to think it comes eventually we just wanna be free i wear glasses cause I’ve got a queer eye when i’m feeling like it imma wear a tie do my avant ways put you on guard When i fight my battles in a leotard?  feel it, uh chorus
9.
MON MARI 02:07
all i can see is me all i can think of is me if i were to reveal myself would you come to me? cross my mind, you’re a cloud when it’s rainy or when i’m down put on a white dress, waiting for yoooou burning crimson apart you are my story i’ll never tell keep you close to my heart someday the day will come when you’re the one but i’m taken, can’t you see? what do you expect from me? i wear a wedding gown parade my body down the falling of the lovers’ tree all i can breathe is me all i can think of is me if i were to reveal myself would she come to me? finally?
10.
do you like to dance in the dark are you afraid? just turn out the lights oh oh darlin’ can’t you see? you’re my ghost lover, baby it’s a dream oh oh, honey can’t you see?  you’re my ghost lover, baby let me set you free In the winter got a splinter  you’re a hunter i’m a pincher prick my skin turns white  its a fact i’m attract attract attract to the dead i attack like i’m dead, you’re a ghost in my head be my world i’m your girl lets unfurl baby never met a boy like you  eyes so blue tornadoes you  got me down, down with my demons and my psychic flu i’m on fire in the basement all my severed dreams i’m insane love the pain when my lover screams i know i’m screaming girl but you know i like it, let me be your demon girl, i won’t try to fight it haunt me in my dreams, take me away my ghost lover surrounds me, as night blinds the day let me set you free, boy i’m tired you fill me up let me set you free, pour my black heart in your cup let me set you free, I can be your winter wife let me set you free, tell me when you see the light you can’t set me free, i have no self control  i’m dying for your love, your body mind and soul Boy you freakin crazy, yeah so pale and shady Take me to the crypt, honey, and i will be your lady   chorus one night i heard a scream in the dark i feel something watchin’ me, is it in my head? who are you? are you dead? i knew i was surrounded by them  i had no choice but to turn on the music,  dance in the dark, ahhhhh chorus oh oh, darlin can’t you see? you’re my ghost lover, baby it’s a dream oh oh, honey can’t you see? you’re my ghost lover, baby let me set you free
11.
eye of irene 03:12
he’s the one i dream about at night all over me like sunlight and i know that it didn’t feel right he’s dangerous, but not quite let us climb the trees, let us claim the breeze, and we can make it our own not alone, not alone we were strangers can we have love? only if you show it to me please eye of irene won’t u show it to me please don’t you know i’m falling from the sky as i fall for him no matter what i try must be inescapable the lighting’s just not favorable with my cards lying here upon the table so i gotta stick to me and hope the sun will set me free eye of irene the storm will pass but i still got my looking glass by myself i got such class— eye of irene let a girl dream babe i need it i can’t lie cause there’s a tear drop in this eye every time you pass me by eye, eye, eye, eye eye of irene let a girl dream

about

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! CHECK OUT MY SONG GHOST LOVER! LISTEN FOR IT ON THE RADIO <3

MON MARI is french for “my husband.” I knowingly chose the term because the “husband” I am referring to is actually, well…me. Many of the songs on this album were written in the year 2013, around the time I married myself under a tree in Albany, New York. Since then I have revamped, edited, and embellished upon the original lyrics, though the character of the songs will always remain in the past.

The theme of self-marriage first came into my life in 2012 when I got a simple tattoo: a black line on my right ring finger. Since then I have been on a journey of self discovery that has had equal parts dark and light. While I don’t think we ever truly and completely get to know ourselves—there is always more to learn, up until the very end—I can honestly say that I am proud to be the woman I am today, because she and i have been through it all. Every song on this album pertains to the idea that i have married myself, or that I have discovered myself, or that, after long last, I am sharing myself. It’s not perfect because nothing is, but sharing it with you is an act of love for me. It’s like diving into a lake on a hot day, that rush of relief and a cold that somehow warms you.

credits

released May 14, 2021

All Songs Written, Engineered, and Produced by Elena Esther Cruzallen, a.k.a. Triya Love, with the exception of "Ghost Lover," co-written and produced by Johnny Magazine and mixed/mastered by Joshua Mirsky.
all other tracks mastered by Starling Studios

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Triya Love Albany, New York

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